Monday, December 28, 2009

Now that's a lot of work!

I don't think these guys have flat screen televisions to entertain them. Can you say new reality tv show?

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Teaching Compassion

It's been a hard last couple of months for our family. Well, probably just for me since I'm a mom and need to hold it all together. I knew that having a baby was going to upset the cookie jar. That just seems obvious, it always has. That must be why I have cookie crumbs all over me right now...literally.

But I also added having my gallbladder out three weeks after Squeak was born; and the recovery, as I mentioned before, I thought it was going to be pretty easy. Yes, it would hurt but I gave birth to three babies naturally and have had a filling drilled without Novocaine, so I thought I could hack it. But that's not what happened. It took me a good three weeks to get to a point where I was doing less than half of what I could do before.

But I've been doing better and more. Thanksgiving was fun but tiring and I have had a chance to catch up on the sleep I missed back then. As each day goes by it seems I'm losing even more sleep trying to give myself alone time after the kids go to bed and Christmas shopping online. Webby went back to school in September, too.

Then a couple of weeks ago Webby called me to tell me he was at the hospital and hour away with severe abdominal pain. It has to be pretty bad for Webby to take such an action so I knew he had to be feeling pretty bad. He ended up having an unexplainable gallbladder infection (no stones) and having surgery.

I've been holding it together, just barely, until this morning. It dawned too early after a late night. It started with the girls yelling at each other. I started to cry and Webby was there to comfort me. He helped the girls get things moving and then he left, a little late, for work. I came downstairs still a bit emotional. I sat down at the computer to read my emails. Sweet Girl came over and stood next to me. She saw the tears still lingering in my eyes. She leaned in a gave me a big hug. And she just stood there and held me and I held her back. She squeezed a bit harder and then she was done. She let go and told me she loved me. When I dropped her off at school she said, "I love you more than you know. Have a good day."

In the past I have pushed back my emotions so the kids do see me cry. I've pushed them away when I've been on the verge of tears so I could deal with it alone. I was supposed to be stronger. But somehow today I realized that what I needed was love form those I love. And I accepted what was given by my child. And I realized that this was a teaching moment. And in that moment I taught her how to notice when someone needs them and to give what she could.

And even through all of this I have been blessed so abundantly. I have such good friends who are willing to watch my kids all day on short notice. Friends willing to drive me an hour away to get Webby's car and get to the hospital. Friends bringing me meals. Family coming to stay and help with meals and kids and the house. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband who is here when I need him.

Have a Merry Christmas! Count the blessings you have been given this year!

Enjoy the pictures.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Santa Fun

A friend of mine posted this and I just had to it pass along. I laughed so hard I cried! Enjoy the next 15 minutes!

Got it! This is by the comedian David Sadaris called "6-8 Black Men"

Friday, December 4, 2009


So here we are at the end of the year. It was 62 degrees yesterday! It reminds me of 3 years ago when we moved here. We had a very mild winter until February when it dumped 24 inches in 24 hours. I'd never seen that much snow in my life. It has been a wonderful last 3 years here in New England. Read my post about how we got here.

Squeak is doing really well. He's growing like a weed...a well fed weed. He grew 2 inches in a month! He is now 12lbs 11 oz and 25 inches tall! My how he has grown and changed! Here are more pictures of all of us.

The past few months have been good. We had a visit from Webby's parents at the end of October. We all had a great time and they got to go trick-or-treating with the girls.

Sweet Girl has proven herself a true outdoors man. She and Webby went for a hike up Reptile Mountain. She hiked all the way up with Webby and it only took them 15-20 minutes more than if Webby was going alone! She loved it and has decided that now she wants to hike a mountain much, much bigger. One that took me hours to hike and it was rough all the way up.

Sweet Girl and I played a little game that she made up the other day. It's called the Appreciation Game. Here is how you play. One person says, "I appreciate..." and then tells you what they appreciate about you. Then you say back, "I appreciate..." and then you tell them what you appreciate about them. Sometimes you get to take 2 turns in a row! How fun is that!!

The other day I was listen to my ipod. Sweet Girl asked if she could listen. I told her is was talking not music. She looked at me and, shaking her head and pointing, said, "Oh, it's Vicki on there." Later we were talking and she was talking about someone but couldn't remember the name. She was trying to figure out the name and said, "Who is it that you love? Oh, right Vicki!" Last night after we put the kids to bed a friend came over. Of course, I hear their bedroom door open and out pops both girls. Sweetie Heart asked who it was here. I told her and she said, "Oh, I've only heard Vicki's voice a couple of times, but I thought it was her." And Of course, Sweet Girl said, "I thought it was Vicki!" Seems like Vicki should just go ahead and move in, everyone just loves her!

Sweetie Heart is doing well in school. It's been hard for me to let go of her responsibilities at school. But I'm doing my best to allow for natural consequences. She's doing well. She came home the other day telling me a boy in her class finally admitted it. He L's her! and 2 other girls in her class. Heaven help me. She has had boys liking her since she was in kindergarten! she is continuing to pursue her art and has taken a few classes here at a local art studio.

So all is well with us. Hopefully I will post again before too long. But if not, Have a very merry Christmas!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Tip Tuesday

Okay , I know it's not Tuesday. But I really wanted to post this because it could effect your whole holiday season. I just read this article. It said that canned pumpkin may be in short supply this year. Because of rain the pumpkins are rotting in the fields. Very sad. And, apparently, Nestle's sells almost all the canned pumpkin in the United States. Hmmm.

So get your pumpkin early. I personally love this pumpkin pie recipe! It is so good and great for those who can't have dairy. If you miss out on the pumpkin consider making a Sweet Potato Pie. I love them!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Music Scripture & Appreciation - Webby at the wheel

If it's not too unruly, i would like to co-dedicate this song to our beloved Sarah. She brought me to a place where i could hear and understand such a song, from there i have grown to listen and appreciate. She strengthened me so that i could enjoy the good and praiseworthy, noble and virtuous, that which allows the Spirit to dance with my soul, and do so with honor. I listen to this music often, battling the apathetic and angry blaring on the construction site radios, and i contemplate and plan for the decisions i make along my way...leaving my legacy. She draws from the well of living water and shares what she is given as a teacher, a leader, a wife and mother; what a joy it is to be united eternally with such a companion! See Proverbs 31 "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." Indeed, her example and devotion to what is best, leads me to "Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest." There is another song by Nichole Nordeman that i can feel in my heart with pleasure (and sing along - when i'm working alone), because i too remember to call Him by name; and thus i am part of Sarah's legacy.

Indeed, we are never alone. Let us remember, and leave a legacy worthy as children of God.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


I've never really made a song dedication. At least not publicly. There is a first time for everything. I'm dedicating this song to my parenting educator and best friend Vicki Hoefle. When I first heard this song it made me think. What is the legacy that I am leaving to my children. It has made me really look hard at who I am and how I treat my child. On goods days it reminds me to act different.

So to has Vicki. The things that she has taught me has made a profound difference in my life. She is real. She is raw. What I love best about her is that she is snarky. When I listen to her, I know she has battle scars. She is in the trenches with me. Everyday. She just makes it look easy because she's been doing it longer.

So Vicki here's to you!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Stone Soup

::This post was written on Thursday, but Sweetie Heart really was sick. She was down for the count all day on Friday. That's why this didn't get posted until today. Everyone is well now, thankfully!

Yesterday, Sweet Girl was running a fever. It just kept getting higher and higher. She slept most of the day on the couch only waking long enough to eat a few bits of toast and a few sips of water, Emergen-C, and B.R.A.T. milk. Her fever peaked out last night at 102. But her fever broke in the night.

Yesterday morning I took Sweetie Heart's temperature before sending her to school. She was fine. I gave her some olive leaf extract, and colloidal silver just to be safe. Everyone slept great last night. Sweetie Heart had a little cough, but nothing to worry about. I dropped her off at school this morning at 8. At 9:33 the phone rang. You know where this is going don't you. It was the school nurse calling to say Sweetie Heart had a low fever. Of course she does, I didn't check her temperature before sending her to school this morning.

She came home and climbed into bed. She read for a bit and then laid down and fell asleep. She slept for a little and woke up. I heard her crying and asked her what was wrong. Her class was reading Stone Soup at school today and making stone soup tomorrow. Because of her fever today she can't go back to school for 24 hours after the fever breaks. No school for her tomorrow. That means she will miss the stone soup.

Super Mom springs into action! I tell her we can make stone soup for dinner tonight. I was planning to make soup anyway since there are people sick here. Now I didn't have to figure out what kind to make. Immediately, her spirits rose and she sprung into action. She wanted to help make the soup. Even though she still has a fever she's not acting like it. Since she was helping Sweet Girl wanted to help, too. Of course, there is plenty to do to make the soup. Mostly I pulled things out of the fridge and freezer, put the broth in the pot and I got to chop the celery. The kids did the rest.

Here are some pictures.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Good Information

This past week we had a 4 day weekend. I decided to use the time to get a little information from my kids. Sweetie Heart has been asking if she can set her own bedtime. I have told her there are certain things she needs to be able to do before she can. A few of those things are : getting herself up on her own, being ready to leave the house on time, going to bed when she's tired. Pretty basic stuff. She hasn't been able to get herself up yet, but she has been getting ready on time.

This weekend I decided to see if she could go to bed when she was tired. So during family meeting I told both girls that there wouldn't be a bed time on Thursday or Friday. The look of delight was beautiful. There were many promises of getting along and going to bed at a reasonable time.'s how it played out.

Thursday night we read scriptures and had family prayer at 6:30, which is when we usually do it. Then we let go. The girls got ready for bed and then came back downstairs and played. And played. And played. Sweet Girl sat with Webby for a bit while he studied. Sweetie Heart read a book. Sweet Girl got out toys to play with. Sweetie Heart came downstairs to see what everyone else was doing and to make mischief with her sister.

At 10pm, Sweetie Heart said, "I'm going to bed."
Sweet Girl said, "Not me!!"
Webby and I both said, "Me too."
So Sweet Girl said, "Oh, all right. I guess I will too."

When I went up to tuck them in Sweetie Heart said to me, "I stayed up too late. But it's really hard to go to bed when Sweet Girl is still up." Very good information! Sweet Girl probably would have stayed up until she fell asleep where ever she was, in the middle of playing. Now I know that neither of the girls are really ready to pick her own bedtime for now. I didn't really think they were ready, but as you can see from previous posts, I have been wrong before. So now I have good information. For Sweetie Heart equality and what others are doing is more important then what she feels she needs. Sweet Girl just wants to go and go. But she doesn't want to be by herself when she does it. It was clear to me that both girls were tired by 8:30 or 9. But when given the freedom to choose, for the first time, they pushed themselves a bit too far. But I was true to my word. I let them stay up the next night as well. They stayed up with us until we went to bed at 10pm again.

What I learned was they are not ready to set their own bedtimes. They aren't will to listen to listen to the signals their bodies are making telling them they are tired...yet. So during the next break I will give them a extended bedtime instead. We will try it out again another time.

When I sit back and observe my kids, they will give me all the information I need. They know better what they are capable of then I do. They want to stretch themselves and learn new things. It's my job to say yes, to observe and to guide as needed. When I do this I am amazed at how capable they are. Sweet Girl peeled and cut up a carrot using a sharp knife today, simply because I said yes. Sweet Girl made a wacky cake from scratch for dessert tonight, because I said yes. I have to do a lot of back tracking right now. I'm very used to saying no, there isn't enough time, blah, blah, blah. What I'm thinking is, I don't have the patience to help, teach. Whatever, that's my problem not hers. Is it any wonder that when I ask her to help me she doesn't want to do it? So, often I am saying no and then turning around and saying yes. No is easy to say, yes is a lot harder. But, you know what? Yes is so worth it!!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Well, There Goes That Theory

So I have had this idea in my mind that my kids cannot get things done on there own. Not only that but if they weren't doing it the way I would do it and in the time frame that I thought was reasonable they were going to fail.

I've been schooled! OR is it skooled?

Here's what happened. In Vicki Hoefle's Parenting on Track program (you didn't actually think I wasn't going to mention her did you?) one of the first thing she encourages from the parents is: do nothing and say nothing. For a week you nothing and say nothing to you kids. The practice gives you good information about what your kids can or are willing to do.

Now I've been "doing" the program for awhile. But it's really hard for me to keep my mouth shut! I just nag and badger, get frustrated and make everyone feel bad. Then I blame it on my kids that we are having a "bad" morning. And really it is my fault. So I decided that it was time to take the plunge. No Talking for me in the morning! And that is no small feat for me.

Here's what I wrote to Vicki on her Parenting on Track blog:

I wanted to share with you the experience I had this morning. It started with the alarm going off. My daughter (7) doesn’t really wake up to her alarm. So I went in to open the blinds and to tell her it was time to wake up. She had a really hard time getting up this morning. She was really tired. So I made sure she was awake enough, told her I was not going to wake her again.

I decided that today I was going to everything I could not to badger and nag her like I do most mornings. I got in the shower, got out, got ready myself, and went down stairs. She was still in bed and it was 7:15. Now that it is cold and dark in the morning she doesn’t want to get out of bed and complains about being cold. I understand that. But we have to walk out the door for school by 7:50 to get to school in time. I pressed my lips together and did what I needed to do to be ready in time.

She slowly came downstairs at almost 7:30. Argh… I almost opened my mouth, but didn’t. She wanted to talk and she doesn’t seem to be able to do that and anything else at the same time. I did tell her she could keep talking but she needed to do other things at the same time.

I continued to do what I needed to do, she kept doing what she needed to do. She came up to brush her teeth as I was getting the baby dressed. She was Brushing her teeth as I was walking down to get ready to get in the car. I was waking out the door to put the other 2 in the car as she was loading her backpack and getting her shoes on. Normally, I would be “encouraging” (read nagging) her to get moving. But I didn’t, I just kept moving. Normally, when I nag, she gets upset and begins to get negative and upset. Today she just stayed focused and got the job done. I decided I would just get in the car and wait for her to be there. She got in the car and we were ready to go at 7:51. I can’t believe it. She short changed herself so many minutes and she was still ready on time!! When I dropped her off she said, “Oh, no snack today. I forgot to pack one.” Just matter of factly, no tantrum. When the mood is already darkened, by me, she fusses and cries about things like that.

So a quick run down. Me+ no nagging+ patience= happy, un-pressured daughter who is ready in time!

This is what I have wanted morning to be like. I was always so worried about her not getting to eat, going unprepared, forgetting things, not brushing her teeth. In the end none of that matters. Like you always say, it’s the relationship that matters most. When I choose not to fight or badger or nag; I am choosing the relationship. She was in charge of herself this morning and everything worked out better than when I get involved! As I just step out of the way things work out the way I wanted them to all along!

I did ask her what time it was a couple of times. BUT both times I really couldn't see a clock. I do admit that I did do it partly to get her to be aware of the time, but it was for me as much as for her. Usually I remind her to keep track of her time. This worked much better.

Thank you again for sharing the skills with me!

Here was Vicki's response:

Hallelujah Sista.

Gosh, it takes so much courage for parents to step out of the way. And look what happens. Congratulations. Now, be prepared for some slipping backwards and do not pay any attention to it.

Now that you know she CAN, set that image in your mind and do not, under any circumstances, let it go. Keep it. Keep seeing this capable child repeating this exercise in independence until that is who she becomes.

Oh the joy of parenthood. Thank you so much for sharing.

I've also let her go to school without her homework folder, haven't nagged her about doing her homework (which she didn't do at all for a week), didn't "encourage" her to study for her spelling test, haven't "reminded" her to pack her lunch or backpack.

It's not easy. Today was not pretty. Well, it wasn't that bad, but I did start to nag a bit. It's hard not to when they go through the house like a cyclone and don't seem to see the mess they are making let alone pick it up. It's not easy to watch them dink around when I know they want to get up to the library for story time. They ask if they can go but don't do what needs done so we can get there on time.

Yes, I get frustrated. Yes, I get tired. But at the end of the day I know that this way is better. It makes my family happier. And I choose the relationship with my kids over the stuff in our lives. They will get it, it's just baby steps for all of us!


Yes, that was a squeal you heard! My BFF Vicki Hoefle came to my house yesterday!!

I stayed up extra late cleaning my house. And I got up extra early to make 2 different kinds of muffins. All about putting on a good show. Not really, I'd clean my house and make muffins for any of you if you'd come for a visit. I promise! But I do like to try to impress just a little. But let's face it, I have small children AND I live in an apartment. So even though I cleaned it was still a bit cluttered. But I don't think she cared much. Did you Vicki?

It was a great morning! We spent it getting to know each other better. You know, all of the history stuff...where are you from, what brought you here, yada, yada, yada. We talked about our kids and life. It was wonderful. Sweet Girl was a bit stand offish. Not a real big surprise. She gets like that around new people. Once she gets to know Vicki a bit better all bets will be off. And the real Sweet Girl will appear! Squeak was as cute as he always is. He's just the sweetest little boy. He slept, and she watched him. He slept some more and she picked him up. Then he started...well squeaking and groaning like he does. She just drank him in. We all do!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Have You Been Watching?

Well, I hope so. Because Vicki, at Parenting on Track, is giving you the opportunity to take her class for free! And that is awesome! All you have to do is tune in live (if you want to be able to ask questions) or log in whenever it's convenient for you and watch on MomTV. It easy and it's free! So tune in on Monday nights at 9pm...or whenever you want.

Don't worry if you haven't seen any of the classes yet. You can log in now and watch all of the classes she's done thus far. I've been watching and they are a great refresher. Go there now...or when you have a few minutes!

Monday, October 12, 2009

I found this in some stuff of my grandma's. It was clipped from a newspaper back in 1970. It's still, if not more, applicable today. I've been wanting to share it for awhile now.

I haven't always agreed with this. If I had read it 15 years ago, I would have scoffed at it, mocked it, maybe even been offended by it. Now I am ready to embrace it. I feel it to be so true.

Open Letter to Woman

I AM man.

I WANT you to be what you ought to be, a personification of:

BUT…while you ask me to regard you as more than a mere sexual object, DO NOT prohibit my doing so by distorting your womanhood.

DO NOT be random in giving the treasure of physical intimacies and then expect me to value you more than you value yourself.

DO NOT, especially when we are with others, abandon that modesty which indwells your nature, for I depend upon you to be my touchstone of moderation.

DO NOT use crude speech, and mock my efforts to make my words to you respectful.

DO NOT applaud the public vulgarities of those who, in the name of artistic expression, disclose their contempt for women and depict you as a slattern.

DO NOT be fooled by the exploiters who would convince you that femininity is a weakness and virtue is retardation.

YOU are strongest when you are most feminine.

YOU progress when you embrace virtue.

REMEMBER that I will accept you at your own evaluation of yourself.


I WILL spend much of my life in concern for your welfare.

I WILL want to provide for you, to protect you, to accept your love and to give you mine, for it is only by uniting with you and doing all these things that my life becomes truly meaningful.

SO, uphold my image of woman, that I may more easily be the man you want me to be!

~written 8 March 1970

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The Catch

Have you ever been looking at your children and just get this little catch in your throat? Almost like a hiccup but you know that if it went unrestrained you could be shedding tears of happiness.

That little catch usually takes me by surprise.

::It happens when I pick up Squeak and look down at his precious face. He's so new and so sweet and fresh from heaven. Oh, the things he could teach me!

::It's in listening to Sweet Girl making up songs and sing to everyone and no one.

::It's in catching a glimpse of Sweetie Heart out of the corner of my eye, and for the briefest of seconds seeing her as a teenager, growing faster than I can imagine.

::It's in watching my kids step out of the bathtub and noticing how long their legs and how big their feet are.

::It's in the smell of sleep in my girls room and the sleepy, "I love you" in my ear.

::It's in the hugs and kisses that are freely given at any time.

This mom thing is hard. Sometimes I don't know how I'm going to get through the end of the day. But I am given the little catches to remind me how very blessed I am!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Under My Skin

So tomorrow is the big day! What day is that, you might ask.
The day I go under the knife! I would answer.

Yes, you heard right. I will be going up to the hospital to have gallbladder surgery. After 11 years of dealing with this problem, I'm going to deal with it once and for all. I'm going to have it out!

You might wonder why it has taken me so long or why I've had a change of heart about keep all the organs I was born with. Well, quite honestly, I'm just tired. Tired of waiting to see if I will have pain. Tired of wondering if this or that will affect me. Tired of having problems when I'm pregnant or not. Tired of the pain! Really. I've tried a lot of things to keep my gallbladder. Most hasn't worked, a couple of things worked for a little while. But now it is time.

The gallbladder attack prior to the birth of Little Squeak really did me in. I talked to a wonderful nurse who explained things well to me. For most people the gallbladder works fine. But for some, it causes illness. She told me I was only getting older and it was going to be more and more likely that I was going to have more problems in the future. Let's face it 11 years is a long time to deal with something. It's time to move on.

So here I am, getting ready for the first surgery of my life. This past month has been full of firsts. And here's another one. Although some might feel anxious about it, I'm actually excited to have it done. Okay maybe I have a bit of anxiety about it, but there is no fear. I am exactly at the place I'm supposed to be, being operated on by the person who is supposed to operate on me. The experiences I've had that have gotten me to this point have taught me much.

When I was in the hospital and deciding to have this surgery, I decided that I was going to be positive about the whole experience. As my BFF Vicki would say, "It is all about perspective." We can look at things as fair or unfair, positively or negatively. Everything has two sides. It is my choice which side I am going to pick. And with a positive attitude I had a great hospital experience. Everyone I came in contact with got the brunt of that positive attitude. And do you know what? When you are positive things work out. When you are positive others are receptive to your desires. God or the universe or whatever helps things work out for you.

Here's what happened to me. I came home from the hospital. The following week I called the surgeon's office to schedule my pre-op appointment. I was told by the surgeon that it could take awhile to get in. I was a bit surprised when I was offered an appointment for the following week. I was expecting to have to wait about 3 weeks to get into surgery. When I came to the pre-op appointment the surgeon remembered me and asked if I wanted to do it 5 days later. What?! It isn't his normal surgery day but he checked the schedule to see if there was space! Well, I wanted to get it done as quickly as possible but I didn't think it would be that soon. But as I have considered it, this actually works out the best. Webby will take a bit of vacation for the rest of this week and then my sister will be here all next week. So if I really need more time to recover, I have the help.

How's that for the power of positive thinking?! So let's all dwell of those things that lift us up and see the silver lining in every day, sunny or not. And let's give thanks back to the one who gives us everything and know we are loved and looked after.

Oh, and keep thinking positive thoughts about my easy surgery and quick recovery!

Friday, September 11, 2009

Birth Story

You've all been so patient (except for my sister, ahem) waiting for Little Squeak's birth story. The story has a bit of history to go along with it so bear with me.

As many of you know I am a home birth-er. I enjoy, if you can say that about natural child birth, having the freedom to move around in my own home while I labor and deliver. I enjoy not having to worry about all the intervention that can happen in hospitals. And I like not having to option of drugs, I know it sounds strange, but I'm a weak, weak woman and when the pain gets bad I need it not to be an option. (she did cry out for drugs and the nurse and nurse-midwife just looked on patiently as i shook my head over my stricken beloved - we all knew she didn't want them really -Webby)

Both Sweetie Heart and Sweet Girl were born at home. Sweetie Heart was born one week early, 4 days after we moved into our first home. She was born on the couch surrounded by boxes, 2 midwives, and a good friend, not to mention Webby.

Sweet Girl was born 20 minutes before her due date, in a different home. She was born into a pool of warm water in my kitchen surrounded by 1 midwife, 2 good friends, Sweetie Heart and Webby. Actually, Webby was in the pool with me.

Little Squeak was planned to be a home birth as well, but that wasn't in the cards this time. This may surprise you, it did me, but he was born in the hospital. And here is the story...

Eleven years ago I had my first gallbladder attack. I bet you can see where this is going, can't you? I was 24 years old and had recently started eating healthy. Good time for the gallbladder to act up, huh! My doctor, who was also a family friend, suggested that I take medication to break up the stones. So I did that and moved on with my life. Things were good for several years. But when I got pregnant with Sweetie Heart I had a few attacks. I didn't realize what they were at the time, just that it hurt a lot! I had her and everything seemed fine again. I got pregnant with Sweet Girl and started having problems again. My midwife had me take herbs during the pregnancy and I didn't have any problems. But then I stopped taking the herbs and I started having attacks again, this time without pregnancy as an excuse. The beginning my pregnancy with Little Squeak things were great, I didn't have any problems with my gallbladder. But as I was nearing the end I started having them a couple of times a week. Not so good for me.

On August 31 I had another attack, except this time it didn't go away. Usually, the attacks only last about 4 hours, but this one was running into 8 hours without any relief (didn't she say she was weak?..."only last about 4 hours"! - Webby). I started/kept throwing up and just couldn't stop. Webby consulted the midwives at 2:30am on September 1st and it was decided that I needed to go to the hospital to see what was going on. So that's what we did. It seems that this time I didn't just have a gallbladder attack, I had a gallbladder infection, stones in and fluid around my gallbladder.

Now if you know me, you know that I have a distrust of hospitals and doctors. I avoid them at all costs, but the pain was so bad I couldn't get there fast enough. So in we went to the ER and they immediately sent me up to Labor and Delivery. So there I was 38 weeks pregnant and there wasn't a whole lot they could do. So I spent the night and most of the next day on an IV and pain medication with the baby being heavily monitored. I found out the next day that I was having regular contractions that they weren't sure were going to stop. But they did.

Once The contractions stopped they sent me down to anti-partum to stay until I could get the pain under control, and sustain myself w/o an IV. The thing that amazed me is that everyone, including the surgeon, kept saying that they wanted to get the pain under control so I could go home and have the baby like we wanted. Then I could come back in and have the gallbladder surgery later. To me that was very surprising! Honestly, I am still very impressed by the whole experience.

I missed the first day of school. Webby took Sweetie Heart to school and stayed home with Sweet girl. After school was out they all came up to the hospital for a visit. They walked in to my room at 5pm. I took a big drink of ice water and immediately started having intense contractions! They came on so fast that I didn't even realize what they were at first. Webby suggested that they might be contractions which fit, so they hooked me up to the monitor and there they were. They sent for the midwife in Labor and Delivery, who I wanted to meet with in case I went into labor while I was in the hospital. She came down and immediately had me wheeled up to L&D.

There I was again, up in L&D a day later. This time in labor for real. One of the great things about this hospital is that they have a birthing tub. One of the reasons I wanted to go there was on the off chance I did go into labor I might have a chance to have anther water birth. It is also the bigger hospital in our area and I wasn't really sure what was going on with my gallbladder and it just seemed like the right choice for so many reasons. They put me in a big room, and in walked a nurse that I had connected with the day before. She told me the day before that if I went into labor in the next 3 days she could be there. I was so glad to see a familiar face. She was equally happy to see that my name was up next to the midwives. She had been the one to suggest that I meet with the midwives just in case.

The contractions started about 5pm. Things start getting hazy pretty quick. They always do. we called our good friend Jessica to help with the girls and she came right over. She took the girls down to dinner. I am so thankful that she was there to help. I knew that the girls would be well cared for even though I couldn't do it. I labored in the tub for awhile. I labored on the bed, on the ball. But I was only at 2. Ugh. On and on it went. I asked to be check before midnight and I was only at a 3. Even worse, I was having contractions in my thighs! Have you ever heard of thigh labor? Not me! I had back labor with Sweetie Heart, hip labor with Sweet Girl and apparently it decided to just work its way down to my thighs with Little Squeak.

I should mention that the tub room wasn't open when I was wheeled up. But my nurse Meghan said if I waited long enough I could still have it. I admitted to her that it would be okay to not have the water birth if that meant having the baby sooner than later. As time wore on and on Meghan said the woman in the tub room was almost done and that I was going to get that tub room! She even went in there and cleaned it for me. Now I'm not the best laborer. I get a bit cantankerous. I know this about myself and I tell the midwives up front about it. Don't ask me if I want to do something, just tell me to do it. Make the decision for me and don't give me choices. It just works better that way. When it came time to move me I told them to just let me be, I'd just stay where I was. But Meghan and Webby decided that what I really would want is to be in the tub room, so we all moved...beds, sleeping children and all.

I got in the tub to labor for awhile. Got out labored on the toilet, labored on the bed. They ran fluids in me though my IV port. Meghan and Webby pushed hard on my thighs as I had contractions to help relieve some of the pain. Oh and did I mention that I also had heartburn. So I'd have a contraction and then have severe heartburn right after. NICE. Time disappeared and I labored back in the tub. Webby, Jessica and the girls slept. I tried, maybe I even did a little.

Sometime between 3 and 4am I asked the midwife to break my water just to get things to pick up a bit. She said she would check me first and then we could decide. I said, "Maybe it will be an eight." She checked, laughed and said you guessed it. Then told me should wouldn't break my water. As she put it, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" So back into the tub I went and started pushing. I focused on Meghan as she sat right in front of me at the side of the tub. Sweetie Heart, Webby, and Jessica were all on hand, Sweet Girl was still sleeping. Sandy the midwife monitored to make sure everything was going smoothly. At 4:49am Little Squeak was born and we woke Sweet Girl so she could see, the girls were both excited and into the birth (and even checked out the placenta). I knew he was a boy. I said, "It's a boy" even before I had looked. I just knew he was a boy. Plus we didn't have a boys name picked out, so doesn't that just make sense.

Somewhere in that haze I think I said things like:
~Get this freakin' baby out of me.
~It's just not fair. (talking about the heartburn)
~Just cut this baby out of me.
~Give me drugs, please just give me drugs.
~Cut off my legs.
But I could be wrong, maybe that was someone else. I'm sure there were some classic ones in there. Like I said I don't labor gracefully.

After it was all over the midwife, thanked me. Yes, she did. She said she was glad to work with someone who she knew didn't want drugs even when I asked for them. She knew it was just the pain talking and that I had done it naturally in the past and really did want it that way this time, too. I think she was just being nice. I know I was a handful!

They took me back down to antipartum around 8am. I asked to be released early. I know, I know, take what you can get. But the bed was too short and I just wanted to go home. The new midwife came down to check on me. I knew her. She had dated Webby's best friend 10 years ago. She and the nurse told me most women stay 24 hours, but if I wanted to go home that day I could. I needed to talk to the surgeon again and the nurse and pediatrician needed to check Little squeak. After that I could go if I wanted. The nurse offered me a wheel chair, which I politely declined. I walked out of the hospital at noon the same day. Call me crazy if you want. But if you know me you know I walk a bit on the edge of crazy!

To wrap it all up. I had a great hospital birth. Not what I planned to do, but it wasn't about what I wanted. It was about having a baby and what was best for him. There weren't any complications, but Heavenly Father put me there at that hospital at that time for a reason. I may never really know what that reason was, but I do a few suspensions. And in the end I know that Heavenly Father blessed me with this experience. It was great.

Just in case you were wondering, next time around I plan to do it at home!

2 Weeks Old

Thursday, September 10, 2009

To Tide You Over

While I'm working on the birth story, you can have a few laughs!

Thursday, September 3, 2009


Little Squeak
6lb 15 oz
20 1/2 inches long
Birthday 3 September 2009
at the Hospital!

Very Proud Big Sisters!

Proud Papa with his son! Now he just needs to decide on a name!

Little Squeak, myself and our wonderful OB Nurse Meagan! The actual Nurse Midwife Sandy bowed out before we could get pictures. She was great, a strong and reassuring support through the whole birth !
One of our actual midwives who was unable to do the delivery
but showed up for moral support! Maybe next time!

Our great friend Jessica who stayed up all night to help with the kids.
And she brought her camera. Without her we would not have all these great hospital pictures!

Friday, August 21, 2009

Wiggle Room

So I had my second midwifery appointment for the week today. Since I was gone last Friday we rescheduled for Monday. They had already planned to have the back up midwife come for today so we kept today's appointment. My other midwife is also pregnant and due at the end of September. So if I went late (Maren!) and she went early we'd need a back up. They always like to have us meet before something like that happens. But really at that point does it really matter? I'm giving birth, I just want someone else there to catch it!

Old Stats:
  • I'm almost 37 weeks
  • Baby has not engaged/ dropped yet
  • Due date, according to me, is September 15th
  • School started September 2nd
  • Birth supplies and tub liner just got delivered
  • I have all the stuff for the birth ready to go
  • Sweetie Heart (1st baby) was 1 week early, but we moved and it sent me onto early labor
  • Sweet Girl (2nd baby) was 20 minutes early. No really she was born at 11:50pm the day before she was due
New Stats:

  • I Am now 37 weeks
  • I'm actually feeling my Braxton-Hicks contractions
  • My uterus went from measuring 36.5 cm Monday to 35 cm today (Friday)
  • The baby's head had plenty of wiggle room on Monday and very little today
  • I've gained about 2lb from 2 weeks ago (forgot to weigh myself for Monday)
  • Picked up some really cute boy clothes at a clothes swap on Wednesday (thus insuring it's a girl)
  • We have a girl's name picked out, but are not settled on a boy's name (thus insuring it's a boy)

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

On The Move

First family picture in a long time.

so I've been meaning to blog for two or so months. But life has gotten in the way. Sweetie Heart and Sweet Girl had swim lessons. Those fell right in the middle of the day and it seemed like I couldn't get anything done because of it. One week off and Sweetie Heart had Art Camp 9am-12pm. So I needed to drop her off and pick her up. And since I'm still walking most places, and that now takes a little while, it didn't give me much time at home to get stuff done. Plus last week, on top of Art Camp, we were preparing to go to Boston! Yes, we went on a little vacation! It was only for a couple of days, but it was one of the best two days we've had!

We left early Friday morning so we could drop off the girls at a friend's house and headed to the Boston Temple to be with a friend who is preparing to go on a mission to Des Moines, Iowa. All the traveling went smoothly! It was amazing. It was an amazing experience and I'm so glad we were able to go.

On Saturday we went to a little beach on Plum Island. Now they only let so many people on this section of the island at a time. Our friends told us about this great area at the end where they only have 40 parking spaces. The beach is on a little inlet. As we were driving back we saw all these cars coming out. But there was no way to know if there would be any parking or how long we would have to wait for someone to leave. As luck would have it, well more power of positive thinking, we went back and although there were cars waiting in the upper lot as we pulled back to the lot closer to the beach two cars left!

Sweet Girl enjoying the wildlife.

We walked down and it was wonderful! The water was as clear as could be. There weren't huge waves so we didn't have to worry about the kids being overwhelmed or drown by them. AND because there are only 40 parking spots and it was a pretty big beach everyone have a section of the beach to themselves. We just let all the kids play and lounged and swam in the water. We found tons of live clams that we collected and took home to eat! The shelve was huge too. I swear, I just kept walking out and the deepest it got was up to my waist! I haven't been to the ocean since I was 18. I love the ocean and I'm so glad we were able to go before the baby is born.

Sweetie Heart with the sand castle Webby & the kids made.
In the moat is the zoo with sea snails and hermit crabs in it.

There have been lots of requests for a baby update. So here it is.

I'm having one. The End

Just kidding. Things are going well. I have less than a month to go and I'm feeling really pregnant. Of course, some people still are asking if I'm pregnant or others say I look really great for how far along I am. All I have to say to both is that I'm tall and carry it well.

My feet are beginning to swell a bit. Not anything big...well besides my feet. Most of the swelling goes down while I sleep, but after a full day they are swollen and I have to get off of them.

Baby is super active almost all the time! Big Mover this one. Speak of the devil, there s/he goes again.

Anyone up for a baby pool. You guess the baby's birthday and am or pm. I will send the winner something, sometime! How's that sound??

Here are a few things to take in account:
  • I'm almost 37 weeks
  • Baby has not engaged/ dropped yet
  • Due date, according to me, is September 15th
  • School started September 2nd
  • Birth supplies and tub liner just got delivered
  • I have all the stuff for the birth ready to go
  • Sweetie Heart (1st baby) was 1 week early, but we moved and it sent me onto early labor
  • Sweet Girl (2nd baby) was 20 minutes early. No really she was born at 11:50pm the day before she was due
How does that sound? What do you think? All the birth supplies that I ordered just arrived today and I have all the birth supplies ready to go. Thus insuring that I go over my due date, right??

Your guess is as good as mine but my date for the pool is September 5, pm.

Join the fun and enjoy the belly picture.
Are the polka dots me? I was given this swimsuit from a friend, but I'm told polka dots are back in style.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Ten Years

10 years ago today I woke up to a thunderstorm and decided to roll over and go back to sleep rather than face my mom.

10 years ago today it rained and the sun came out and it was a beautiful if not a bit humid day.

10 years ago today Webby and I went to the flower shop and picked up a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

10 years ago today we had lunch and went home to get ready for the evening.

10 years ago today we went our separate ways to get cleaned up and dressed so we could meet up later for pictures.

10 years ago today we had our pictures taken in a beautiful garden.

10 years ago today we gathered and mingled in the garden with close friends and family.

10 years ago today we stood in front of our bishop and I married my best friend as the sun went down.

We've been through so much in the last 10 years. I love you more today then I ever knew that I could love someone. I know that we have enjoy much love and happiness as well and difficulties and fears. And through it all I know that so long as I am by your side everything will work out.

I love you Webby. Happy Anniversary!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

You Know What They Say...

If you do something bad as a business, people have a tendency to tell at least 10 people about it. But if you do something good they might not say anything at all. Well, I think this goes beyond the 10.

So I guess United breaks guitars. And here I am telling you about it.
True story!

Monday, July 6, 2009


I wanted to post these pictures last week. However, a trip to the ER to rehydrate the artist of said paintings kind of sent me onto a tailspin. She's fine, so don't worry...although I did for a little bit. She's back to her old self.

Sweetie Heart received acrylic paints, paint brushes and canvas boards for her birthday. Now this is pretty big for me. I don't like messes and painting is messy. And it takes time. And often I just don't have the patience. I'm doing my best to be better, it's hard some days.

About a week after she got her stuff I said yes! And here is what she created.

This first one was sketched on the canvas first and then painted.

These others were created on the canvases. Amazing aren't they? She really does have a talent!! She's already given 2 of them away.

And, of course, a picture of the artist posing with one of her paintings. She's going to be famous one day. She told me so herself!

Those canvases aren't cheap so feel free to send her more. She might even send you a painting as a thank you!

And here's a little comic relief. I wonder if Sweet Girl learned to smoke a pipe from her Great Uncle Jon??

Monday, June 29, 2009

Just in Case...

you missed it. I'm going to post a link to Vicki's MomTV show. I watched it last night and really enjoyed it. Take the time to watch it, it's almost like taking her class! It will be on every Monday at 9pm and available to watch at you leisure later. If you didn't buy the program, but wanted to you should really check it out. If you did buy the program, you should check it out, too, for the reminder.

I have taken Vicki's live class and I also have the home program. But, honestly, I forget what I'm doing sometimes. The thing that helps me the most is to continue to listen to the program. It gives me the reminder that I need to stay on track! The change in our home has been amazing. Not perfect, but oh so much better!!

How to watch a replay: Click on the Menu Button & Select View Movies to Watch this Show

She said she was going to add a page so that you can print off reminders of what you are working on and what works. When that page comes up I'll post it.

Be Well!

Another Reminder!

Tonight Vicki Hoefle will be on It's a live show called Your Family, Your Solutions! Hopefully, this will link directly over to the page. If not go to the Live Shows button at the top of the MomTV page. It will give you a list weekly shows and times. Vicki is on at 9pm EST on Monday. So today is the first day. Take the time to watch it. She's funny and she's real. And I'm not saying that just because she's my BFF.

Vicki's on TV: MomTV !

Join us
June 29th from 9 pm - 10 pm

Vicki will introduce the founding principles of the
Parenting On Track™ program
and discuss Parenting Styles.

So if you've been interested in finding out more about the Parenting on Track program, tune in tonight!

Be Well!

Thursday, June 18, 2009


Yesterday I was talking to a good friend about the changes that have happened in our home. It is amazing to me to look back 4 years ago and see where we were and to look at my family now. It is amazing the change that has happened!

All my life I have wanted to be a stay at home mom. It has just always felt right to me. Unfortunately, I only knew what I didn't want to do as a mom, nit what I wanted to do. This is where a "Roadmap" comes into play. For those of you who are not familiar with Parenting on Track, a Roadmap is your plan for raising your family, the skills you want your children to have when they walk out of the house at 18. It helps you and your children know what is important for your family so you can work together.

Now my Roadmap isn't finalized, it isn't even written down. (I know Vicki, I really need to do this!) But I can see gradual changes in our family because of the Parenting on Track program. As a family we have been through a lot. Somethings have been very hard and try to find the "best" track has been a lesson in trial and error...mostly error. But we are dedicated to finding what is really going to work for us and Parenting on Track is it!

At the end of last school year and the beginning of this I was having a difficult time with Sweetie Heart. Her anger towards us and her sister just seemed to have no end. She would walk out of school happy and within minutes she was angry and defiant! All I had done is picked her up and asked how her days was, what was good, what was bad. It got so bad that I was sure something was going on at school and asked her teachers. The response was that she did great at school. She was helpful and loving. The child I described was a shock to her teachers. Her Kindergarten teacher took time with the kids to do an exercise to see if there was something else, but there wasn't anything out of the ordinary. So I talked to the guidance counselor. She is wonderful! She was will to work with Sweetie Heart on a personal basis, to reward her for having a good week (one that didn't have temper tantrums), and assigned her a 6th grade mentor. She would check in with me to see how things were going at home and would discuss things with Sweetie heart. She also recommended that I attend the Parenting on Track class that the school sponsored for free to the parents in the school system. I had wanted to go the year before, but due to Webby's schooling I felt unable to go. I wanted the kids to go to bed on time, at the time it was the most important thing. As I look back now I can see how the sacrifice would have been well worth it a year earlier.

What I have learned is invaluable to me. These are the skills I have been seeking for for years! Now our home is more peaceful. We are more loving toward one another. And that's not just between us as parents and each child individually. The girls love each other more and fight less. We work together on things to get them done. I have lowered, yet raised my expectations for them and they have risen to the challenge. It has been amazing, and truly a blessing in our family.

Just a couple of examples. Sweet Girl is 3.5 years old. It was at about the age of 2.5 that we started having struggles with Sweetie Heart (now 7.) It had gotten so bad we went to Family Couseling for it, but it only helped a little. Recently we have noticed more struggle with Sweet Girl. So we looked back and looked forward and made a decision as to what to do. Sweet Girl does not like to be surprised nor does she like to feel that she doesn't have a choice. So when I want her to do something I give her a choice. For example, it's dinner time. She doesn't want to stop playing and come to the table so she is crying and disrupting dinner. It's unpleasant for everyone, except for her who is in control. Now my knee jerk reaction is to send her to her room. But that usually doesn't work and just makes things worse. Now I give her a choice. "You can choose to quiet down now and eat dinner or you can choose to leave the table. If you keep crying you are choosing to leave the table." Pause for a couple of seconds to see what she chooses. Lately it has been to keep crying. So I pull out her chair, take her by the hand and lead her to the couch. Then I say, "We would love to have eat dinner with us. When you are finished crying we would love for you to join us at the table." All calmly and in a quiet, even voice. Then I return to the table and we eat. She usually joins us in a couple of minutes and all is well! Really!

Sweetie Heart was given a feelings journal this year from the guidance counselor. She did pretty well writing in it whenever she was upset. She hasn't used it for awhile. We were looking through it the other day and she was laughing at the way she had spelled things. So I took the opportunity to ask her if she felt things had changed. She said yes so I asked her how. She said, "You do more things for us." Which is funny because I am actually doing less for them than I did. So I questioned that and asked if it was just that the mood had changed in the house and there was less anger. She agreed, but if you lead a kid in a certain direction they have a tendency to agree. But if I look at there original response, it is really telling. We are doing more things together. Yes, I expect them to help clear the table, but not to do it all by themselves. We clean up the house together, do the laundry together. The key is the togetherness. We are working side by side to have a happier, healthier home. I don't feel as run down and aggravated because I'm "doing everything" and they are getting what they really want, which is time with me! It's a win-win situation.

Yes, there is still fighting and bad attitudes. Yes, I still run my mouth too often and badger them. But you know what, it's better than having temper tantrums, yelling and bad feelings at the end of the day if not more often. I am just as responsible for my actions and reactions as they are.

But then there was this morning. My In-Laws are in town for the week. They have been taking the kids different places and having a great time. This morning they were going to a place they had gone before. Last time they were there they bought t-shirts. Sweet Girl put hers on after being coaxed by Sweetie Heart. But Sweetie Heart couldn't fine her shirt. She had decided that she could get rid of it at the beginning of the summer when we were going through her clothes. Now she wanted it back, but it was already gone. I suggested that her grandparents would probably buy her a new one if she asked, but she wanted to wear it right now! She was crying up in her room, working herself up. It was on the path to a temper tantrum, really. I could see it so clearly. But you know what happened instead? I had called Sweet Girl to come up stair and put her pajamas in the laundry. She came in, heard what was going on and said, "Sister, I have an idea!" She took off her shirt and gave it to her big sister to wear. I was too big for Sweet Girl and big enough for Sweetie Heart. Sweetie Heart stopped crying and thanked her, gave her a hug and put it on. I thanked her, too, for her generosity. She just smiled and put on a different shirt and off they went. ::sniff::

And for me this is what it is all about. Compassion. Seeing the need and helping to find a solution. My solution is good in the long run, but Sweet Girl's solution helped right now! By my example I am teaching my children how to be compassionate people. I am teaching them to be problem solvers. And they are teaching me that my influence is the most important influence in their young lives! I can do better and I will continue to because it is making my family better and our home a place we all want to be!

Be Well!!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Happy Birthday Sweetie Heart!

Today is Sweetie Heart's 7th Birthday and the last day of school! I just wanted to give you a little pictorial glimpse of her then...

And now!

My how she has changed! It seems like just yesterday I was giving birth on the couch on our newly acquired home. We moved in 3 short days before she was born. We weren't even settled in really. It was one of the happiest days of my life.

The Seven of Sweetie Heart:
  1. She is an amazing person full of love and compassion to those around her.
  2. She is loving and generous.
  3. She has an amazing talent towards the arts: visual, music, poetry.
  4. She expresses her love and acceptance to all those she comes in contact.
  5. She is loved by so many because of who she is and how she makes others feel when they are around her.
  6. She loves to fill our home with music and dancing and silliness.
  7. She is a wonderful big sister who loves and helps her younger sister learn.

Happy Birthday Sweetie Heart!
I love you more than words can express!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


I just saw this in Vicki's Free Weekly Newsletter and I wanted to make sure you all knew about it! If you aren't getting the newsletter you really should sign up. They are free after all! It's helpful to have the Parenting on Track background or to have taken the class, but even if you haven't I believe it will be helpful to you and you family just to receive her encouragement and insight. So if you're wondering about Parenting on Track, what it's about and why I think it's so great be sure to tune it!

Vicki's on TV...MomTV to be exact!

WHO: Vicki Hoefle, Creator of Parenting On Track™

WHAT: Parenting Television Show

WHEN: Mondays - starting on June 29th
9:00 pm-10:00 pm

WHY: Why Not?

Join us on June 29th. Vicki will introduce the founding principles of the Parenting On Track™ program and discuss Parenting Styles.

Questions you want us to answer on the show? Send them today!

Now go mark your calendars and be well!

Happy Birthday Webby!

Yesterday was Webby's birthday! We all made him cards. the girls both thought that we should buy him a present, but he really didn't want anything. We had a yummy birthday dinner of his choice: Veggie Omelet (more scrambled eggs), Simple Stir Fried Cabbage (first time for this but very yummy, everyone liked it! and Webby doesn't really like cabbage), and Roasted Spare a Kiss (that's how Sweet Girl pronounces Asparagus, so cute!) I should have taken a picture of dinner but I didn't think of it until we were already eating.

The meal ended with Two Layer Carrot Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting and Vanilla Ice Cream! Webby's not big into parties so we just had one close friend come over for dessert.

Happy Birthday Webby! I love you!

Best Ever Carrot Cake- The One I Use!

1 ¾ cups sugar
1 ½ cups oil
4 eggs
2 cups flour
2 tsp baking soda
½ tsp salt
3 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ground cloves
2 cups peeled and grated carrots (I like mine finely grated)
1 cup chopped walnuts (optional)
1 can (8 oz) crushed pineapple
  • Preheat oven to 350, grease and flour a 9x13 pan or 9 a 10-inch spring form pan or 2 round cake pans.
  • Beat together oil, sugar, and eggs until well blended. In a bowl, sift together flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and cloves. Add to egg-sugar mixture mixing well. Add carrots, walnuts and pineapple. Pour batter into pan.
  • Bake for about 1 hour or until toothpick in center come out clean.

Cream Cheese Frosting
Cream together:
2 - 8 oz packages cream cheese
1 cup powdered sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

I See That You're Upset

This is a Parenting on Track post. I've been wanting to share my experience with this program, but haven't gotten around to it. I had an experience tonight that I thought I would share.

So one of Vicki's skills that I haven't used very often is the phrase, "I see that you're upset...." to help a situation. When temper tantrums come I use the "put a bag over the weed" skill instead. It seldom works and ends up with everyone very upset. So tonight, I decided ignoring the tantrum Sweet Girl was having wasn't going to work. I want into her room and calmly said, "I see that you're upset. Is there anything that you can think of that will make it better." She shook her head no. I responded that it was okay and that I was going to leave, but when she thought of something to let me know. She quickly said that she did have a solution. She said she wanted to talk about it, that she wanted to read scriptures and wanted to have a family prayer. So that's what we did. We talked about how we got to the point of her tantrum and how different choices would have prevented it from happening in the first place. And then she went to bed calmly and happily. Now from experience I can tell you that my kids will go on forever, like hours, when they are having a temper tantrum and being ignored. This definitely worked better. There are thing that I do ignore and my kids do self correct, but tantrums are not one of them. So I learned form this experience that this is what I need to do instead.

I never would have thought it could be so easy. But then again, I have taken Vicki's class and when implemented it really does work! Often I look back on an incident and see how I could have done better. Maybe looking for how Vicki would have done it. But this is the first time I thought of it before things got out of control. Thanks again Vicki