It's been a hard last couple of months for our family. Well, probably just for me since I'm a mom and need to hold it all together. I knew that having a baby was going to upset the cookie jar. That just seems obvious, it always has. That must be why I have cookie crumbs all over me right now...literally.
But I also added having my gallbladder out three weeks after Squeak was born; and the recovery, as I mentioned before, I thought it was going to be pretty easy. Yes, it would hurt but I gave birth to three babies naturally and have had a filling drilled without Novocaine, so I thought I could hack it. But that's not what happened. It took me a good three weeks to get to a point where I was doing less than half of what I could do before.
But I've been doing better and more. Thanksgiving was fun but tiring and I have had a chance to catch up on the sleep I missed back then. As each day goes by it seems I'm losing even more sleep trying to give myself alone time after the kids go to bed and Christmas shopping online. Webby went back to school in September, too.
Then a couple of weeks ago Webby called me to tell me he was at the hospital and hour away with severe abdominal pain. It has to be pretty bad for Webby to take such an action so I knew he had to be feeling pretty bad. He ended up having an unexplainable gallbladder infection (no stones) and having surgery.
I've been holding it together, just barely, until this morning. It dawned too early after a late night. It started with the girls yelling at each other. I started to cry and Webby was there to comfort me. He helped the girls get things moving and then he left, a little late, for work. I came downstairs still a bit emotional. I sat down at the computer to read my emails. Sweet Girl came over and stood next to me. She saw the tears still lingering in my eyes. She leaned in a gave me a big hug. And she just stood there and held me and I held her back. She squeezed a bit harder and then she was done. She let go and told me she loved me. When I dropped her off at school she said, "I love you more than you know. Have a good day."
In the past I have pushed back my emotions so the kids do see me cry. I've pushed them away when I've been on the verge of tears so I could deal with it alone. I was supposed to be stronger. But somehow today I realized that what I needed was love form those I love. And I accepted what was given by my child. And I realized that this was a teaching moment. And in that moment I taught her how to notice when someone needs them and to give what she could.
And even through all of this I have been blessed so abundantly. I have such good friends who are willing to watch my kids all day on short notice. Friends willing to drive me an hour away to get Webby's car and get to the hospital. Friends bringing me meals. Family coming to stay and help with meals and kids and the house. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband who is here when I need him.
Have a Merry Christmas! Count the blessings you have been given this year!
Enjoy the pictures.