So this week we talked about our buttons. You know the ones, the ones you kids push to get to you. Here's what Vicki has to say about that. And she's totally right. We don't really have buttons, but we like to blame our bad behavior on something. There are things that send me into orbit though.
My favorite part if the show last night was the analogy about the goats. LOVED IT!! So here it is, because I think it stands to be repeated. We all have goats. Goats are those things that send you into orbit. The thing that makes you irrational. The thing that makes you, the parent, miss behave. Now here is what Vicki said about the goats. "Don't tell your kids where you goats are tied. If you do they will eat them. Not only will they eat them, they will do it with lots of people watching." I love it.
Need an example? Okay, here's my example, completely hypothetical.
Suppose my goat is...oh, I don't know...screaming. Now let's just say that you've told your red headed daughter that you can't stand screaming. Now she knows where your goat is tied. So here you are at the grocery store. She wants something. You say no. She begs (not a goat, no biggie) you ignore it. She whines (maybe a small goat, but still manageable) you take a deep breathe and continue to ignore her. Then she starts screaming that she wants it! It's not fair! She never gets anything! Oh and there are tears, too. Now everyone is looking at you, or at least you feel that way. You feel like you're disturbing the other shoppers. There is no way you're leaving without your groceries because you're almost done and you'd just have to go back again with said munchkin. So what do you do. She's eating your goat right there in the grocery store. Of course, that puts me...I mean you as the hypothetical parent...at choice. You threaten to leave (she knows you won't), you threaten to take something else away (completely irrelevant to her behavior), you give in and give it to her (totally the point of the screaming), or you continue to ignore her and keep moving.
Vicki's example was a lot shorter. And she's laughing while she tells it. I love listening to Vicki laugh! Go watch it! Click menu, watch videos and then watch the post from 1/19/10.
I have a whole herd of goats. Here are a few that I have figured out.
- screaming, pounding on doors, temper tantrums
- playing first and then getting frustrated (tantrum) when you don't have time to do your work that needs done
- miss use of time, dawdling and then panicking when you run out of time
- saying you can't find something when you haven't looked, going into a room glancing around and giving up and saying you can't find it, even when it is in front of your nose
- when asked to find a solution to a problem, saying "I don't know" even before you've thought about it
What are your goats?
Love this clip!