Ok, here’s the thing about school. Stop pretending that school isn’t a choice. EVERYTHING is a choice. And your kids know it. Every morning when I wake up I choose my marriage, my family, my job, my house, and my pets. I choose my life. Every day. No one is threatening me, tying me up, or pushing me around. I choose, and so do our kids.How many times have I told Sweetie Heart the not going to school is not a choice? I can't even tell you how many. It was at least three times last week and once this week. When things start getting tough in the morning (ie: she's going to be late, hasn't packed her lunch etc) she starts in on how she doesn't want to go to school, she doesn't like school.
Flockmother has let her kids choose to stay home from school. Yikes! She is a brave, brave woman. I honestly don't know how that would go here. I'm so afraid that Sweetie Heart would like being home all the time. She has said on numerous occasions that she wishes I would home school her. I just don't have the patience to do that. I can recognize that in me. Plus, whenever I try to teach her something she complains and refuses. What do I let her do if she is at home? Do I just let her play with her sister? Do I make her work or stay in bed? Do I call the school and tell them she's not coming? And what reason do I give?
Maybe just the suggestion that she can stay home is enough to get her to go. Maybe it's the fight and the tears and the interaction that she's wanting. I do know that when she is home she just wants me to play with her and I have so many other things that I need to get done I don't have the time or energy to do that. Plus then there is the fighting to get my attention. Hmm. I need to think a bit more about this.
This week's momTV cut out but it was about Problem Solving during Family Meeting. I'm putting up a piece of paper to write down the problems that are coming to me. Sweetie Heart expressed to me that it would be obvious that the problem was with her sister, even if she didn't use her name, because there is only two of them. So smart that girl! I told her she could have a problem with Webby or myself as well. I want her to know she can express problems about her parents as well.
As the parents, we've been using the problem solving to air our complaints. I was reminded that it isn't our time. This time is only for our kids. If we, as parents, have a problem with something our kids are doing then we just need to make it their problem. Webby and I were talking about this last night. Often the kids will come to us and say they don't feel good. They complain about every bump and bruise and minor discomfort. Sweet Girl says she's sick so she needs to eat in the living room and watch movies all day. (We have a family rule that we have pizza & movie night every Friday. We don't watch movies during the week or during the day.) We're thinking that the next time it happens we will scoop them up and take them to their room. Stating that when we are sick or hurt we need to stay in bed and rest. They have the freedom to come out if they are feeling better. This will either become a problem to be solved at family meeting or it will cause extinction of the behavior.
I am also putting up a piece of paper to write down appreciations during the week. Vicki talked about this on momTV (3/9/10). So many times we forget the things we appreciate about our kids and our kids about us when it come family meeting time. So the same things get said over and over again. So we can bring that list to family meeting. The other thing she pointed out is that if you have the list as your kids walk by they see thier name and stop to read what someone appreciates about them. And they say to themselves, "Hey, yeah, I do do that!" or "Someone finally noticed that." Everyone loves to be appreciated. Flockmother had a great experience with this. She also recommended that that we appreciate our spouse at least three times a day. I would say we need to do that for every member of the family, but that probably falls under the Crucial C's.
It should be an exciting week.