Monday, March 29, 2010

A Tired Mind

It's been a bit of a tough week. Too busy, of my own making.

Sweetie Heart hasn't wanted to go to school, probably 3 days out of 5. There have been tears and tantrums. There have been chaos and whining. And yet I have also seen the girls work together. The other morning it was time to leave to take Sweetie Heart to school. Sweet Girl knocked 2 of her 3 coats off the hook and was ready to leave them there (like normal.) Problem is it's right in front of the door. We can't get out of the house with the coats on the floor. Even before I asked Sweet Girl to pick them up, Sweetie Heart reached down and hung them back up. The girls have played together happily.

Last week on momTV, Vicki talked about contributions. This has always been hard for our family. The kids don't especially want to do them, no matter how easy. And I'm tired of being the maid. The girls will do them, but only if I remind them, sometimes repeatedly. Before PonT I had a belief that kids should only be given an allowance if they earned it by doing chores. As I have learned more I agree with Vicki and I give allowance to my kids just for being a member of our family. However, I still wonder when doing contributions will catch on. When will my kids do them without being reminded. I made up an erasable board for Sweetie Heart but she doesn't use it. If she write something on it and walks away she doesn't come back to it to see what she still needs to so.

I really like this PonT blogger. She's using remembery boards. And it seems to be starting to catch on, but like everything it takes time. I'm impatient to see results. I've been reminding so long. When I bring it up to Problem Solve at Family Meeting no one seems to have a solution. I probably need to let the time run out and not give allowance. Maybe then the kids would think about what we can do. If I do get a response it's something like, "remind me__ many times" or "put me in time out if I don't." You can see what's been done in the past. It obviously doesn't work, but they can't think of anything appears. Well, I think they could but they just don't. It seems like if it's going to take any effort on their parts, they don't want to do it.

On to another topic. Saturday dawned early. The only day we get to sleep in is Saturday. Saturday seems to be the only day the girls will wake up early voluntarily. And it usually starts with a fight...naturally. Webby and I do our best to ignore it. This past Saturday went a little like this.

  • 6:15am ~ Mom and Dad still sleeping. Squeak starts talking a little. I hear the bathroom light go on and both girls go in.
  • Yelling about lights turning on. (They share a room) One wants to sleep longer (SG) and one wants the light on (SH).
  • Screaming, threatening, crying. Parents stay in bed!
  • SG comes in crying. Calms herself to say she wants to sleep longer. I ask her if she has a solution. "Rest with you?" she says. Good solution, she gets to climb into our bed.
  • Bad solution for SH. She starts ordering SG around. Telling her what she has to do because she was trying to find other solutions for the lights (turning them off) which her sister was sabotaging her.
  • I shut the door.
  • SH begins to pound on the door. It's early and we live in a duplex. I will not allow her to bother the neighbors this early in the morning.
  • I back her up into her room. Tell her I not going to allow her to bother the neighbors. And tell her I am ready to listen to her problem when she is ready to talk.
  • She's bored and doesn't want to be alone. SERIOUSLY?!?
  • I refrained from lecturing. I explained that her sister wanted to continue to sleep. If she wanted to turn off the light and invite her sister back in she could, but it would be SG's choice if she wanted to come back. Or she could find something else to do.
  • She decided to do something else. But then it was done.
All this and so much more makes me feel a bit defeated. Yes, some things worked out but it just seems like such a fight sometimes. There are so many things I need to do and I just don't feel like I'm doing anything well right now. It'll get better...I know. It's just hard...again. But then I ran across this post. Just what I needed today.

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