Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Morning Routine

Our morning routine...well usually it bites. No, really. There just doesn't seem to be enough time to get it all done. My girls tend to get distracted, don't keep track of the time and don't/ are not able to do two things at once. I see the clock tick down, knowing that when it's time to leave there will be a tantrum, screaming, self depreciation (I hate myself statements) and general chaos.

So instead of staying out of it and keeping my mouth shut, I begin to nag, remind, badger, order around... you get the picture. And then all of the things I was trying to avoid (see above list) happen anyway and there is usually crying and "I don't want to go to school" stuff, as well.

I know that I cannot be trusted to keep my mouth shut in the morning. So I've been trying to figure out what to do about it. We have a baby in the house. That, in and of itself ,is a great reason to NOT be downstairs for the morning routine. However, the girls keep coming upstairs to talk to me, ask me questions, say they don't know what to have for breakfast/ lunch, she touching me... the list goes on. Things aren't going well then either. Do they really need me there? Maybe.

I've done the tape thing, but that makes Sweetie Heart crazy. Just seeing it darkens her mood. I know why. If I'm not talking then I not reminding her what needs to be done and how much time etc. Plus then they ask questions I should answer, so I have to take it off, then it doesn't stick as well, so then I'm wasting the tape...blah, blah, blah.

I was talking to a friend from church the other day. She has a large family with seven kids from ages 8 to 20. I asked her how she trained her kids. One thing she said really struck me. She said the morning sets the tone for her family. They always have breakfast together. In the morning they come together ready for the day. They read scriptures, have family prayer and eat breakfast together. Her kids know that when they come down they need to be ready to walk out of the house for the day after they eat. She does home school the elementary school age kids, but they still have to be ready for schooling to start after they eat. If one member of the family has to leave early for something, then the whole family gets up earlier to have this family time together.

I brought that home to Webby and we talked about it. It felts right, a big change though. I have been struggling to get out of bed. I have been struggling to get things done and to feel like I am accomplishing things. I set the tone for the day and it hasn't been pretty. So we decided that was the thing to do. Starting this week. I've been pulling myself out of bed at 5am to be ready for the day. The kids are up earlier. We are uniting spiritually in the mornings. As an added bonus there is more time to have a non-rushed morning. I'm not nagging, etc because I can look at the clock and see there is plenty of time! The girls are fighting less. I am with them in the morning talking and connecting. They have time to play with the baby. And we've been walking out the door earlier then ever. It's only been two days, I know, but this just feels right. As hard as the change is, it's so worth it if this is how it changes our family!

I guess that's another aha moment!


MidwifeMama said...

Wow, congratulations! That's beyond what I can do. Sounds very nourishing for the whole family - in addition to setting the tone for the day and relieving so many pressures, it sends the message loud and clear that family is the priority.

Liz McCoy said...

I very much enjoyed the advice you received!! Thanks for sharing. I've blogged about how much I enjoyed it LOL

Buckeye Bergs said...

Sarah, I think all of us mothers can agree on the whole hard morning bit. But you do have to give yourself a break with a little baby, that's a whole other mix of stuff.

I wanted to comment because we just bought bunk beds last week. We actually found some on Walmart.com. Our stipulation was that they had to be 100 percent wood, no metal or no fake wood! And it was amazing what furniture stores wanted us to pay! Anyways the set was 200 and then its best to get bunkie boards with them, there about 40 bucks a piece. Ultimately we were quite surprised how good a set it was.
A couple of years ago we found a set at Big Lots Furniture and that has been our very very favorite set. We wished we could have found it again. That was 200 also.

Oh and if you find a recently set of bunk beds it seems their guards are so high they practically have liability and don't sue me written on the side!

Anonymous said...

Sarah, I really wish I had the energy to do that in the morning!! Instead we've been helping each other clean up after dinner and doing family time each night...sometimes its going for a walk, bike ride or watching a movie but most nights we're at the dinning room table reading or playing games. It's also given us an opportunity to bring the scriptures into our lives atleast once a day! Nick and I are also tag-teaming the bedtime routine with the boys so it's helping us too.
Keep it up; your beautiful children are amazing blessings in everyones lives!!

Lorilee said...

So true! Well said. We just "bit the bullet" and started getting the kids up at 5:45 in order to have family prayer and scripture reading before H goes to Seminary and K goes to work. It's going well and is so far the most reliable way for us to get those crucial family spiritual moments together. I hope your mornings continue to improve!