Friday, May 8, 2009

A Gift for You

So I've talked a bit about it here in my blog. But if you've talked to me in person you'll know I'm all about the Parenting on Track program by Vicki Hoefle. If you don't know me or haven't heard my little story here it is in a nut shell...hopefully!

I had a baby! It was great! She was beautiful and lovely and everything to me. She still is, by the way, but she's not so little anymore. She turns 7 next month! My whole world revolved around her and her needs. Not all bad, but there comes a time when I need to be the parent and she needs to be an obedient child and that wasn't happening. Why not? Because I never taught her to be that way. There was whining, crying, temper tantrums, aggressive behavior whenever parental authority was put into play and at other times too. I tried timeouts, explaining, speaking sternly, and many other things to get thing under control. None of it worked. What to do?

Along comes number two. I've learned a few things but was still struggling with Sweetie Heart. We decided it was best to go to family counseling. That's helped a little bit but we still were having the same problems. I have to say there were times I became that mom I never wanted to be. Times where I wondered how I could possibly get through this time. If it was this bad now, how was it going to be when she became a teenager?? The thought was truly frightening!

We moved here to New England, still struggling but we were doing a little better...sometimes. They say consistency is the key, but even my family therapist said that being consistent is hard to do. Even she struggled with it. So we moved forward. Sweetie Heart started school and I heard about a parenting class that was offered, for free, by the school. I wanted to go but Webby was in school that night and I wanted to the kids to get to bed on time, so I didn't go. Did I mention there was free childcare?! What was I thinking?! Sweetie Hearts best friend's mom took the class and told me about it. She loved it and highly recommended it to me.

Kindergarten, for the most part went well. Sweetie Heart did great. But when she came home from school she would lash out at the family. Not just me and Webby but Sweet Girl, too. Many times it seemed to come out of no where. We'd be walking home and boom off she'd go. I didn't know what was going on or why it was happening. I talked to her teacher. If something was going on in the classroom I needed eyes there to tell me what was going on. She was shocked at the behavior I described. She said she was doing great in class and often helped her as a teacher and the other children in class. But she said she'd look into it and see what she could find out. Nothing really surfaced.

Fast forward one year. First grade starts. More of the same behavior. I talk to the school counselor about it and she agrees to work with Sweetie Heart. She suggest a sixth grade mentor. So she meets with her mentor once a week and they play games and has someone to look up to. It helps some but there is still stuff going on at home. More harsh words and tantrums. I was anxious for the class to be announced. I was going to take the class no matter what this time. and so I went. Webby was home most of the time, but some work things happened and he was out of town for 2 of the 4 weeks. I packed the kids up and took them to the free childcare. They cried and after a hug and kiss and reassuring words I walked out of the room. This class is exactly what I needed and nothing was going to keep me from the class!

I cannot explain to you how much I wish I had had this information before I had kids. Even if I had gotten it when my oldest was a couple of years old it would have saved me so much heartache and frustration. I love my kids and felt like a failure as a parent. But now I have the skills to be the best parent I can be, that I want to be! I cannot put into words how much I wish this for everyone. If I had the money I would buy each and every one of you a copy of the program.

One of the things that Vicki said that struck me the hardest is this. "Most of us go into parenthood knowing what we don't what to do. But few of us actually decide what kind of parent we want to be and decide how we are going to accomplish it." The other thing she said is , "kids grow into behavior, not out of it if it works. We train our kids to behave the way they do. Children always do what works, parents consistently do what does not!"

As a parent it is my responsibility to make sure my kids are ready for the world. I have to teach them everything they need to know to be able to walk out my house at 18 and confidently walk into their own lives. How do I do that? Am I doing it now? Well, the answer was no. But now things are getting better. It's not perfect. There will always be times when one or more of us choose to not do what we should or make mischief of one sort or another. But when put in a place of choice my children become empowered and isn't that what we all want?

So go to the Parenting on Track website and check it out. Sign up for the free weekly newsletter, it is very encouraging. And if you are struggling or think that this program might help you order it! You're saying to me, "Sarah, that's pretty expensive!" Yes, it is and worth every dime! but here's the gift that Vicki wants to give you.

So through the month of May (and while supplies last) we are offering you, your friends, and your family any of the three Parenting On Track™ Home Program packages at 50% off the regular retail price. After you've chosen the program package that's best for you, simply apply Code ONTRACK531 during our secure checkout. No additional charges will apply – this means Parenting On Track™ pays the shipping and sales tax for orders shipped within the US!

My friends this program is a gift in and of itself. The 50% off is just a bonus gift! Please consider this information my gift to you! And she's really funny! She's raised 3 kids by herself for a little while so she knows how it is and how you feel. She's really great! I want her as my BFF!

Be Well!


Kelly said...

hi schmoopie! thanks so much for this, I really needed it! I signed up for the newsletter and I'm thinking about the materials even though they're expensive like you said. We've/I've really been struggling with Jake lately (the last coupla years!) and I feel like such a failure sometimes. I know it's Satan that helps us to lose our tempers and to feel horrible after we do it, but at the moment, it's so easy to do when he's yelling/crying/blaming me for things. I definitely have some things I don't want to be & do as the mom, and I've found myself doing and being them.
I've been reading a book called "How to Behave so your Kids Will Too". I'll let you know if it has anything helpful in it.

Sherry Carpet said...

You are always so generous with advice and passing on what has worked for you. on your recommendation i will check it out.

Vicki said...


Ask and you shall received. I been looking for another BFF.

The article is wonderful. You are wonderful and I bet, Sweetie Heart and Sweet Girl are everything their names imply.

I will be following along now that I found this wonderful blog.

Have fun. Vicki