you missed it. I'm going to post a link to Vicki's MomTV show. I watched it last night and really enjoyed it. Take the time to watch it, it's almost like taking her class! It will be on every Monday at 9pm and available to watch at you leisure later. If you didn't buy the program, but wanted to you should really check it out. If you did buy the program, you should check it out, too, for the reminder.
I have taken Vicki's live class and I also have the home program. But, honestly, I forget what I'm doing sometimes. The thing that helps me the most is to continue to listen to the program. It gives me the reminder that I need to stay on track! The change in our home has been amazing. Not perfect, but oh so much better!!
How to watch a replay: Click on the Menu Button & Select View Movies to Watch this Show
She said she was going to add a page so that you can print off reminders of what you are working on and what works. When that page comes up I'll post it.
Be Well!
Monday, June 29, 2009
Another Reminder!
Tonight Vicki Hoefle will be on momtv.com. It's a live show called Your Family, Your Solutions! Hopefully, this will link directly over to the page. If not go to the Live Shows button at the top of the MomTV page. It will give you a list weekly shows and times. Vicki is on at 9pm EST on Monday. So today is the first day. Take the time to watch it. She's funny and she's real. And I'm not saying that just because she's my BFF.
Join us
June 29th from 9 pm - 10 pm
Vicki will introduce the founding principles of the
Parenting On Track™ program
and discuss Parenting Styles.
Parenting On Track™ program
and discuss Parenting Styles.
So if you've been interested in finding out more about the Parenting on Track program, tune in tonight!
Be Well!
Be Well!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Change
Yesterday I was talking to a good friend about the changes that have happened in our home. It is amazing to me to look back 4 years ago and see where we were and to look at my family now. It is amazing the change that has happened!
All my life I have wanted to be a stay at home mom. It has just always felt right to me. Unfortunately, I only knew what I didn't want to do as a mom, nit what I wanted to do. This is where a "Roadmap" comes into play. For those of you who are not familiar with Parenting on Track, a Roadmap is your plan for raising your family, the skills you want your children to have when they walk out of the house at 18. It helps you and your children know what is important for your family so you can work together.
Now my Roadmap isn't finalized, it isn't even written down. (I know Vicki, I really need to do this!) But I can see gradual changes in our family because of the Parenting on Track program. As a family we have been through a lot. Somethings have been very hard and try to find the "best" track has been a lesson in trial and error...mostly error. But we are dedicated to finding what is really going to work for us and Parenting on Track is it!
At the end of last school year and the beginning of this I was having a difficult time with Sweetie Heart. Her anger towards us and her sister just seemed to have no end. She would walk out of school happy and within minutes she was angry and defiant! All I had done is picked her up and asked how her days was, what was good, what was bad. It got so bad that I was sure something was going on at school and asked her teachers. The response was that she did great at school. She was helpful and loving. The child I described was a shock to her teachers. Her Kindergarten teacher took time with the kids to do an exercise to see if there was something else, but there wasn't anything out of the ordinary. So I talked to the guidance counselor. She is wonderful! She was will to work with Sweetie Heart on a personal basis, to reward her for having a good week (one that didn't have temper tantrums), and assigned her a 6th grade mentor. She would check in with me to see how things were going at home and would discuss things with Sweetie heart. She also recommended that I attend the Parenting on Track class that the school sponsored for free to the parents in the school system. I had wanted to go the year before, but due to Webby's schooling I felt unable to go. I wanted the kids to go to bed on time, at the time it was the most important thing. As I look back now I can see how the sacrifice would have been well worth it a year earlier.
What I have learned is invaluable to me. These are the skills I have been seeking for for years! Now our home is more peaceful. We are more loving toward one another. And that's not just between us as parents and each child individually. The girls love each other more and fight less. We work together on things to get them done. I have lowered, yet raised my expectations for them and they have risen to the challenge. It has been amazing, and truly a blessing in our family.
Just a couple of examples. Sweet Girl is 3.5 years old. It was at about the age of 2.5 that we started having struggles with Sweetie Heart (now 7.) It had gotten so bad we went to Family Couseling for it, but it only helped a little. Recently we have noticed more struggle with Sweet Girl. So we looked back and looked forward and made a decision as to what to do. Sweet Girl does not like to be surprised nor does she like to feel that she doesn't have a choice. So when I want her to do something I give her a choice. For example, it's dinner time. She doesn't want to stop playing and come to the table so she is crying and disrupting dinner. It's unpleasant for everyone, except for her who is in control. Now my knee jerk reaction is to send her to her room. But that usually doesn't work and just makes things worse. Now I give her a choice. "You can choose to quiet down now and eat dinner or you can choose to leave the table. If you keep crying you are choosing to leave the table." Pause for a couple of seconds to see what she chooses. Lately it has been to keep crying. So I pull out her chair, take her by the hand and lead her to the couch. Then I say, "We would love to have eat dinner with us. When you are finished crying we would love for you to join us at the table." All calmly and in a quiet, even voice. Then I return to the table and we eat. She usually joins us in a couple of minutes and all is well! Really!
Sweetie Heart was given a feelings journal this year from the guidance counselor. She did pretty well writing in it whenever she was upset. She hasn't used it for awhile. We were looking through it the other day and she was laughing at the way she had spelled things. So I took the opportunity to ask her if she felt things had changed. She said yes so I asked her how. She said, "You do more things for us." Which is funny because I am actually doing less for them than I did. So I questioned that and asked if it was just that the mood had changed in the house and there was less anger. She agreed, but if you lead a kid in a certain direction they have a tendency to agree. But if I look at there original response, it is really telling. We are doing more things together. Yes, I expect them to help clear the table, but not to do it all by themselves. We clean up the house together, do the laundry together. The key is the togetherness. We are working side by side to have a happier, healthier home. I don't feel as run down and aggravated because I'm "doing everything" and they are getting what they really want, which is time with me! It's a win-win situation.
Yes, there is still fighting and bad attitudes. Yes, I still run my mouth too often and badger them. But you know what, it's better than having temper tantrums, yelling and bad feelings at the end of the day if not more often. I am just as responsible for my actions and reactions as they are.
But then there was this morning. My In-Laws are in town for the week. They have been taking the kids different places and having a great time. This morning they were going to a place they had gone before. Last time they were there they bought t-shirts. Sweet Girl put hers on after being coaxed by Sweetie Heart. But Sweetie Heart couldn't fine her shirt. She had decided that she could get rid of it at the beginning of the summer when we were going through her clothes. Now she wanted it back, but it was already gone. I suggested that her grandparents would probably buy her a new one if she asked, but she wanted to wear it right now! She was crying up in her room, working herself up. It was on the path to a temper tantrum, really. I could see it so clearly. But you know what happened instead? I had called Sweet Girl to come up stair and put her pajamas in the laundry. She came in, heard what was going on and said, "Sister, I have an idea!" She took off her shirt and gave it to her big sister to wear. I was too big for Sweet Girl and big enough for Sweetie Heart. Sweetie Heart stopped crying and thanked her, gave her a hug and put it on. I thanked her, too, for her generosity. She just smiled and put on a different shirt and off they went. ::sniff::
And for me this is what it is all about. Compassion. Seeing the need and helping to find a solution. My solution is good in the long run, but Sweet Girl's solution helped right now! By my example I am teaching my children how to be compassionate people. I am teaching them to be problem solvers. And they are teaching me that my influence is the most important influence in their young lives! I can do better and I will continue to because it is making my family better and our home a place we all want to be!
Be Well!!
All my life I have wanted to be a stay at home mom. It has just always felt right to me. Unfortunately, I only knew what I didn't want to do as a mom, nit what I wanted to do. This is where a "Roadmap" comes into play. For those of you who are not familiar with Parenting on Track, a Roadmap is your plan for raising your family, the skills you want your children to have when they walk out of the house at 18. It helps you and your children know what is important for your family so you can work together.
Now my Roadmap isn't finalized, it isn't even written down. (I know Vicki, I really need to do this!) But I can see gradual changes in our family because of the Parenting on Track program. As a family we have been through a lot. Somethings have been very hard and try to find the "best" track has been a lesson in trial and error...mostly error. But we are dedicated to finding what is really going to work for us and Parenting on Track is it!
At the end of last school year and the beginning of this I was having a difficult time with Sweetie Heart. Her anger towards us and her sister just seemed to have no end. She would walk out of school happy and within minutes she was angry and defiant! All I had done is picked her up and asked how her days was, what was good, what was bad. It got so bad that I was sure something was going on at school and asked her teachers. The response was that she did great at school. She was helpful and loving. The child I described was a shock to her teachers. Her Kindergarten teacher took time with the kids to do an exercise to see if there was something else, but there wasn't anything out of the ordinary. So I talked to the guidance counselor. She is wonderful! She was will to work with Sweetie Heart on a personal basis, to reward her for having a good week (one that didn't have temper tantrums), and assigned her a 6th grade mentor. She would check in with me to see how things were going at home and would discuss things with Sweetie heart. She also recommended that I attend the Parenting on Track class that the school sponsored for free to the parents in the school system. I had wanted to go the year before, but due to Webby's schooling I felt unable to go. I wanted the kids to go to bed on time, at the time it was the most important thing. As I look back now I can see how the sacrifice would have been well worth it a year earlier.
What I have learned is invaluable to me. These are the skills I have been seeking for for years! Now our home is more peaceful. We are more loving toward one another. And that's not just between us as parents and each child individually. The girls love each other more and fight less. We work together on things to get them done. I have lowered, yet raised my expectations for them and they have risen to the challenge. It has been amazing, and truly a blessing in our family.
Just a couple of examples. Sweet Girl is 3.5 years old. It was at about the age of 2.5 that we started having struggles with Sweetie Heart (now 7.) It had gotten so bad we went to Family Couseling for it, but it only helped a little. Recently we have noticed more struggle with Sweet Girl. So we looked back and looked forward and made a decision as to what to do. Sweet Girl does not like to be surprised nor does she like to feel that she doesn't have a choice. So when I want her to do something I give her a choice. For example, it's dinner time. She doesn't want to stop playing and come to the table so she is crying and disrupting dinner. It's unpleasant for everyone, except for her who is in control. Now my knee jerk reaction is to send her to her room. But that usually doesn't work and just makes things worse. Now I give her a choice. "You can choose to quiet down now and eat dinner or you can choose to leave the table. If you keep crying you are choosing to leave the table." Pause for a couple of seconds to see what she chooses. Lately it has been to keep crying. So I pull out her chair, take her by the hand and lead her to the couch. Then I say, "We would love to have eat dinner with us. When you are finished crying we would love for you to join us at the table." All calmly and in a quiet, even voice. Then I return to the table and we eat. She usually joins us in a couple of minutes and all is well! Really!
Sweetie Heart was given a feelings journal this year from the guidance counselor. She did pretty well writing in it whenever she was upset. She hasn't used it for awhile. We were looking through it the other day and she was laughing at the way she had spelled things. So I took the opportunity to ask her if she felt things had changed. She said yes so I asked her how. She said, "You do more things for us." Which is funny because I am actually doing less for them than I did. So I questioned that and asked if it was just that the mood had changed in the house and there was less anger. She agreed, but if you lead a kid in a certain direction they have a tendency to agree. But if I look at there original response, it is really telling. We are doing more things together. Yes, I expect them to help clear the table, but not to do it all by themselves. We clean up the house together, do the laundry together. The key is the togetherness. We are working side by side to have a happier, healthier home. I don't feel as run down and aggravated because I'm "doing everything" and they are getting what they really want, which is time with me! It's a win-win situation.
Yes, there is still fighting and bad attitudes. Yes, I still run my mouth too often and badger them. But you know what, it's better than having temper tantrums, yelling and bad feelings at the end of the day if not more often. I am just as responsible for my actions and reactions as they are.
But then there was this morning. My In-Laws are in town for the week. They have been taking the kids different places and having a great time. This morning they were going to a place they had gone before. Last time they were there they bought t-shirts. Sweet Girl put hers on after being coaxed by Sweetie Heart. But Sweetie Heart couldn't fine her shirt. She had decided that she could get rid of it at the beginning of the summer when we were going through her clothes. Now she wanted it back, but it was already gone. I suggested that her grandparents would probably buy her a new one if she asked, but she wanted to wear it right now! She was crying up in her room, working herself up. It was on the path to a temper tantrum, really. I could see it so clearly. But you know what happened instead? I had called Sweet Girl to come up stair and put her pajamas in the laundry. She came in, heard what was going on and said, "Sister, I have an idea!" She took off her shirt and gave it to her big sister to wear. I was too big for Sweet Girl and big enough for Sweetie Heart. Sweetie Heart stopped crying and thanked her, gave her a hug and put it on. I thanked her, too, for her generosity. She just smiled and put on a different shirt and off they went. ::sniff::
And for me this is what it is all about. Compassion. Seeing the need and helping to find a solution. My solution is good in the long run, but Sweet Girl's solution helped right now! By my example I am teaching my children how to be compassionate people. I am teaching them to be problem solvers. And they are teaching me that my influence is the most important influence in their young lives! I can do better and I will continue to because it is making my family better and our home a place we all want to be!
Be Well!!
Friday, June 12, 2009
Happy Birthday Sweetie Heart!
Today is Sweetie Heart's 7th Birthday and the last day of school! I just wanted to give you a little pictorial glimpse of her then...
And now!
My how she has changed! It seems like just yesterday I was giving birth on the couch on our newly acquired home. We moved in 3 short days before she was born. We weren't even settled in really. It was one of the happiest days of my life.
The Seven of Sweetie Heart:
And now!
My how she has changed! It seems like just yesterday I was giving birth on the couch on our newly acquired home. We moved in 3 short days before she was born. We weren't even settled in really. It was one of the happiest days of my life.
The Seven of Sweetie Heart:
- She is an amazing person full of love and compassion to those around her.
- She is loving and generous.
- She has an amazing talent towards the arts: visual, music, poetry.
- She expresses her love and acceptance to all those she comes in contact.
- She is loved by so many because of who she is and how she makes others feel when they are around her.
- She loves to fill our home with music and dancing and silliness.
- She is a wonderful big sister who loves and helps her younger sister learn.
Happy Birthday Sweetie Heart!
I love you more than words can express!
I love you more than words can express!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Announcement
I just saw this in Vicki's Free Weekly Newsletter and I wanted to make sure you all knew about it! If you aren't getting the newsletter you really should sign up. They are free after all! It's helpful to have the Parenting on Track background or to have taken the class, but even if you haven't I believe it will be helpful to you and you family just to receive her encouragement and insight. So if you're wondering about Parenting on Track, what it's about and why I think it's so great be sure to tune it!
Vicki's on TV...MomTV to be exact!WHO: Vicki Hoefle, Creator of Parenting On Track™
WHAT: Parenting Television Show
WHEN: Mondays - starting on June 29th
WHAT: Parenting Television Show
WHEN: Mondays - starting on June 29th
9:00 pm-10:00 pm
Join us on June 29th. Vicki will introduce the founding principles of the Parenting On Track™ program and discuss Parenting Styles.
Questions you want us to answer on the show? Send them today!
Now go mark your calendars and be well!
Happy Birthday Webby!
Yesterday was Webby's birthday! We all made him cards. the girls both thought that we should buy him a present, but he really didn't want anything. We had a yummy birthday dinner of his choice: Veggie Omelet (more scrambled eggs), Simple Stir Fried Cabbage (first time for this but very yummy, everyone liked it! and Webby doesn't really like cabbage), and Roasted Spare a Kiss (that's how Sweet Girl pronounces Asparagus, so cute!) I should have taken a picture of dinner but I didn't think of it until we were already eating. The meal ended with Two Layer Carrot Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting and Vanilla Ice Cream! Webby's not big into parties so we just had one close friend come over for dessert.
Happy Birthday Webby! I love you!
Best Ever Carrot Cake- The One I Use!
1 ¾ cups sugar
1 ½ cups oil
4 eggs
2 cups flour
2 tsp baking soda
½ tsp salt
3 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ground cloves
2 cups peeled and grated carrots (I like mine finely grated)
1 cup chopped walnuts (optional)
1 can (8 oz) crushed pineapple
- Preheat oven to 350, grease and flour a 9x13 pan or 9 a 10-inch spring form pan or 2 round cake pans.
- Beat together oil, sugar, and eggs until well blended. In a bowl, sift together flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and cloves. Add to egg-sugar mixture mixing well. Add carrots, walnuts and pineapple. Pour batter into pan.
- Bake for about 1 hour or until toothpick in center come out clean.
Cream Cheese Frosting
Cream together:
2 - 8 oz packages cream cheese
1 cup powdered sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
I See That You're Upset
This is a Parenting on Track post. I've been wanting to share my experience with this program, but haven't gotten around to it. I had an experience tonight that I thought I would share.
So one of Vicki's skills that I haven't used very often is the phrase, "I see that you're upset...." to help a situation. When temper tantrums come I use the "put a bag over the weed" skill instead. It seldom works and ends up with everyone very upset. So tonight, I decided ignoring the tantrum Sweet Girl was having wasn't going to work. I want into her room and calmly said, "I see that you're upset. Is there anything that you can think of that will make it better." She shook her head no. I responded that it was okay and that I was going to leave, but when she thought of something to let me know. She quickly said that she did have a solution. She said she wanted to talk about it, that she wanted to read scriptures and wanted to have a family prayer. So that's what we did. We talked about how we got to the point of her tantrum and how different choices would have prevented it from happening in the first place. And then she went to bed calmly and happily. Now from experience I can tell you that my kids will go on forever, like hours, when they are having a temper tantrum and being ignored. This definitely worked better. There are thing that I do ignore and my kids do self correct, but tantrums are not one of them. So I learned form this experience that this is what I need to do instead.
I never would have thought it could be so easy. But then again, I have taken Vicki's class and when implemented it really does work! Often I look back on an incident and see how I could have done better. Maybe looking for how Vicki would have done it. But this is the first time I thought of it before things got out of control. Thanks again Vicki
So one of Vicki's skills that I haven't used very often is the phrase, "I see that you're upset...." to help a situation. When temper tantrums come I use the "put a bag over the weed" skill instead. It seldom works and ends up with everyone very upset. So tonight, I decided ignoring the tantrum Sweet Girl was having wasn't going to work. I want into her room and calmly said, "I see that you're upset. Is there anything that you can think of that will make it better." She shook her head no. I responded that it was okay and that I was going to leave, but when she thought of something to let me know. She quickly said that she did have a solution. She said she wanted to talk about it, that she wanted to read scriptures and wanted to have a family prayer. So that's what we did. We talked about how we got to the point of her tantrum and how different choices would have prevented it from happening in the first place. And then she went to bed calmly and happily. Now from experience I can tell you that my kids will go on forever, like hours, when they are having a temper tantrum and being ignored. This definitely worked better. There are thing that I do ignore and my kids do self correct, but tantrums are not one of them. So I learned form this experience that this is what I need to do instead.
I never would have thought it could be so easy. But then again, I have taken Vicki's class and when implemented it really does work! Often I look back on an incident and see how I could have done better. Maybe looking for how Vicki would have done it. But this is the first time I thought of it before things got out of control. Thanks again Vicki
Friday, June 5, 2009
Homemade Laundry Detergent
I haven't done this yet, but it sounds great. I have all but the washing soda. I have a friend who just made up a big batch of this laundry detergent and said it works great. I love this tutorial because it has pictures, helpful hints, and short cuts.
If you are trying to do things naturally you may want to look at this post before making the laundry detergent. She has an alternate detergent recipe and other suggestions for natural detergent. The question is is Borax safe to use. I don' have the answer. But if you're using conventional laundry detergent anyway, the first recipe is probably the cheapest and like what you are buying at the store. I have a friend who uses Charlies Soap and loves it! So there you are. Enjoy!
I totally forgot my cousin made laundry soap too. She blogged about it. You can read about it here!
If you are trying to do things naturally you may want to look at this post before making the laundry detergent. She has an alternate detergent recipe and other suggestions for natural detergent. The question is is Borax safe to use. I don' have the answer. But if you're using conventional laundry detergent anyway, the first recipe is probably the cheapest and like what you are buying at the store. I have a friend who uses Charlies Soap and loves it! So there you are. Enjoy!
I totally forgot my cousin made laundry soap too. She blogged about it. You can read about it here!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Baby Update
I actually started this update on Friday when I had my check up. But it ended up out of control with past birth experiences and the like and I really didn't feel like it was worth posting. So I posted nothing. But my sister's been nagging me...not really, but I am doing it for her. So here it is.Everything is great! I'm at 25 weeks. It's hard to believe I'm that far already. It seems like just this morning I was throwing up. Oh wait it was.... Don't ask me why. I drank a glass of water, that was it, and it came right back up. Luckily, I hadn't eaten yet. Funny how we say things like that when we're pregnant.
Anyway, I went to my check up. She measured me etc. She said everything looked good. she could now feel the baby's body part. Baby is bottom up, head down, feet to the left side of my body. That must be why I feel most of the action on that side of my body!
I'm feeling really good. Slowing down a bit. It's harder when you walk everywhere. I find that I am walking slower already. I probably haven't walked this much during either of my other pregnancies. I do it now because I don't really have a choice. One car family = walking. It's not bad, I actually enjoy being in the sun. the spring has been pretty mild. It's getting through the summer that might be tough. I figure I was in Kentucky for Sweetie Heart's pregnancy and birth (June) and it gets pretty hot and humid there early. I was in Ohio for Sweet Girl's pregnancy and birth (October!) and let's just say I used the A/C quite a bit. Because, man it was hot and humid! But my experience with New England summers is that they get hot for a couple of weeks, it rains and cools back down for a couple of weeks, rinse and repeat. So, yes it gets a bit hot but it's not for long. I think I can make it! One of my midwives is due at the end of September. She's planning to be at the births up to the point she delivers. School's not out for another week and a half. We will have swim lessons for two weeks, Webby's parents will be here for a week and Sweetie Heart has Art Camp for a week. And since it's summer smack down time, it should be fun getting into our new routine. I'll blog about that later.
So to sum up, everything is great! Have a great summer!
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